BDSM
28 Apr 2020


It all started with a sparkly rainbow unicorn hat.

She's always been hiding in there …. scared to come out. The perfect sub inside my inner me. Sometimes she giggles and dances down the aisles while I'm shopping. She loves singing along to music playing over the intercom and she adores Christmas. All those shinies and presents!

Usually she sneaks sweet foods into my basket when I'm not looking or insists we NEED that cute little something. Sometimes it's adorable stuffies or other stuff that is so cute it would make some people want to puke at how cutesy her tastes are. She'd let me walk past this unicorn many times in the IGA, but looked at it wistfully as I ran my fingers over the ever-so-tempting mermaid scales. Oooohhh! that feels nice, I would think to myself. But I couldn't rationalise buying it. Then one day out of the blue I thought I'm going to buy that today if it fits! I picked it off the shelf and was shocked that it fit perfectly. And in that moment SHE CAME OUT!! A smile crept across my face that was so broad it hurt my cheeks and my whole personality lifted to bubbly, more me than me as I skipped a little to the checkout to pay. In that moment I didn't have a clue what had come over me.

I had heard of Littles before and thought age play wasn't for me and then all of a sudden I'm right there chatting a smiling away like a little girl, but in my adult voice to my Dom. I'm not sure if he noticed. I was a little wary of letting her out again, fearing she wouldn't be accepted, but she slipped out when I put that unicorn hat on again. I was with one of my boyfriends and on went the hat and he loved it! She slowly came out to play and we taught him that older littles are a not so confronting way to ease into age play. We giggled and I called him Mister, we pillow fought each other and had so much fun in bed together.

Then it was time to go visit my Dom and I was anxious …. what would he think? Would he accept her? Would he be disappointed?? So I pushed her back for a little while and then she made me go nap on the couch while he said goodbye to my boyfriend. A short while later my Dom wakes me gently asking if I am sleepy and would like naps with a blankie in bed instead of the couch. I wonder for a moment if my boyfriend has said something to him on the way out, but I say thank you. He tucks me up lovingly in bed under a blanket, tells me where he will be and to message if I needed him. I settle into a sound sleep for what seemed an age.

When I woke I messaged “I miss my big spoon.” and within moments he was there spooning me and stroking my hair. I felt so loved in that moment, my heart could have burst! Then while he made me dinner and I watched, there was cute music playing and I bopped around the kitchen. Next thing I knew this wave of euphoria washes over me and I don't know it but I'm in little space. My Dom notices something is different and asks me to set the table. I ask where he wants to sit and place down the cutlery and drinks. We eat and chat and then snuggle on the couch watching netflix. Bliss!

I don't know if she will be comfortable to come out again soon, because even though our Dom took such beautiful care of her and has been doing things that would coax her out, she felt his sadness at a change of plans that involved cuffs and floggers. So she retreated and I took off her clothes to reveal lacy lingerie in his favourite colours red and black. I took back control and got his attention so he knew he could have his little and eat his regular sub too.

He tested that I was back to regular sub and instructed me to suck his cock, which I did lovingly. After making sure I was sure I wanted to continue with our plans, he blindfolded me and led me downstairs, a feat of complete trust. He buckled on cuffs and chained them high before introducing me to Sting and Thud, his voice low and primal as he tested my thresholds.

He got as far as a spreader-bar for awhile, before my body betrayed me and I felt I'd failed him as my knee started to sting with pain. Then it was over and what seemed ages was merely minutes and I felt a wave of disappointment. He reassured me that it was ok, that I was new to all of this and that I had done well to trust and to communicate. I felt less like a failure and more like I had conquered something important, as sat and introduced me to other things without being in a scene.

Tags: age, bbw, bdsm, firsttime