Dear Darling Cheryl, For some time I have been determined to express to you, just how fortunate and delighted I am since having you in my life. There was a time when I assumed, that I would never again find committed love. I have always found myself falling short of how I need to articulate myself, which is why I have chosen this type of opportunity to express myself. Life is a journey, learning from experiences, where it they are enjoyable or disasters. Moments I have learnt and shared with you I believe, have made me a far better person. My trust in you and your decisions are without reservation, acting upon your choices and judgment. The love and happiness your have bestowed on me has been without parallel, at this time of my life never believed I would experience again. Most people say that words such as comfortable and complacency are to be avoided, but to me they convey the feeling of warmth. I experience that radiant feeling when I am with my darling. The events that occurred on July 1st. are just the icing on the cake, I am more than confident, you at this moment are as happy as I am. I wish that any small hiccups we are sure to experience in the future will have no lasting consequence. I know that it would only take a small endeavor from either of us to breach any obstacle that may bestow us in the future. The accomplishment I feel for you when I am with you my love, is without comparison urging me to obtain more of the same. Eradication of any suppressed feelings have to me has been of god-sent, knowing that I can now be open sharing with you my past secrets. Expressions of love and tranquility is always been something I needed to share, but sadly never the right person there to completely express myself. I somewhat believe that you are almost at that place as well, but maybe not quite there as yet. Only when we both express ourselves openly and truthfully about life’s tiny ambiguities can we absolutely move on. I have no hesitation in saying to you that I have never judged you disapprovingly, you could never do anything wrong in my eyes. At times you have made the statement that I do not care for you enough, that is not so darling, if anything I want you to fill your life with enjoyment and love exposing you to your full potential. There could be nothing you could do that would me less respectful for you. You have taken my expectations of what I am possible of enjoying and obtaining to a new level with both love and potential. Had only we met earlier, there is that expression “Oh what a Feeling” most certainly been our catch cry. But now there is tomorrow, it will be even better. Isn’t it so wonderful to know that with each day our love grows stronger and stronger. Only our pessimism will stop or delay us from obtaining that goal. We cannot change things or past decisions, all confused choices were made for the correct reason and I am sure we have used them to our advantage in seeking that reachable star. I will always be thankful for you showing me what passion and love is all about, I never believed I could ever reach the plain I am on today. By introducing me to the excitement that one normally only fantasizes about; you have unleashed desires within me, that I never believed possible to experience. My passion to obtain more than selfish gratification is now an ingrained aspiration to share with you a new elevation of body and soul fulfillment. I believe you must realize you are the person responsible of opening the flood gates of the new found pleasure that you have introduced me to. I never believed in my wildest dreams that I could have been fortunate enough, to be part of a relationship that would excepting my “after a lot of soul searching” desires; unusual to some but to me part of my present persona. I realize that we both are hesitant to express our passions on some certain issues, I do hope we by trusting each other can fulfill all our potential. I seem to always be waiting for you to lead the way as you have done in the past, showing me pleasures I want to share more and more with you. Without hesitation if you cracked that proverbial whip I would be your slave. I intend to edit my letter to you at a later date darling, after I guess receive your approval that we are at least on the same page. I will now share something with you that only one other person knows, that being the other person involved. Although extremely hesitant, I feel that the only way I could possibly explain my long hidden secret, is for you to read in letter form and privately. I will I guess hopefully you accept me for who I am…………. The extended school holidays continued, the weekend of week four of the usual seven week break. With the Christmas celebrations over and enjoyed, the exceptional summer heat was becoming very intense. The tradition of our tight circle of friends was to cool off; regularly swimming in the Yarra River. The area was well visited by us all, choosing to swim in the inlet and outlet channels that fed the cooling ponds of the Newport Power Station Complex. Tempting danger was common place, all of us choosing to swim across the wide expanse of the fast flowing river, and the undertow of the inlet channel. More often, we would swim in the less dangerous outlet channel were the water was warmer. It was late afternoon when we were joined by one of our group’s brother. Occasionally he would join us for various activities, but more likely joining the girls in the surrounding area choosing to associate with them rather than the more boisterous schemes we all got up to. He was very much girl like in appearance, jet black silky hair, full feminine lips and long eyelashes. I was very sympathetic to his ongoing trauma, always taking his side when aggressively chastised by other boys. As dusk approached, I realized that it was time to head home for my evening meal. I hadn’t been aware that all of my friends had left, leaving me and Darryl behind. Whilst treading water, Darryl swam towards me and started a conversation of which I have no recollection. Without any warning he slipped his hand down the front of my swimming shorts, fondling my penis and genitals intimately before swimming away. I was stunned, never in my wildest dreams but also surprisingly thrilled with the feeling that engulfed my body. Not a word was exchanged while we dressed and headed off on our usual path for home. Although Darryl had lived all his life across the street and two down from mine, we were never close with me choosing to associate more with his older brother. The vast area adjacent to the river of which had to walk to get home was crowded with trees, large shrubs and bushes. The normal time to travel the distance to our homes would normally take about fifteen minutes; this trip was to take nearly an hour. As we both walked from the limits of river and power station area, the silence between us was very obvious. I suppose I was avoiding the circumstance that had just occurred, but in turn my body was tingling with expectancy. The change from day to night became more apparent with the setting of the sun and the shadows of dusk were rolling in. Crossing the verge into the grassed and treed area, Darryl reached down a clasped my hand squeezing it gently. I eventually found the courage to ask him why he had touched me in such a fashion; his reply was a most definite “I Think I Love You”. My experience in life endeavouring to sort out this confusion was overwhelming. My mind was telling me one thing; the felling engulfing my body was telling me another. Without wavering Darryl drew me to him and kissed me, his lips were full and soft not what I expected. Cautiously I responded but within seconds I was aware that this was something special and wanted it to continue. Darryl parted my lips with his tongue; with my lips parted he pushed his tongue into my mouth hungrily searching for mine. We clung to each other kissing feverously and passionately. I had kissed quite a few girls in the past, but never with so much feeling and desire. As we kissed my psyche mind was racing; confused to the point where I was thinking about societal and immoral dilemmas. The thrills that I was experiencing surely were that forbidden fruit that had been drummed into me as long as I could remember. Our lips parted, pausing we looked at each other with me feeling a little embarrassed but not ashamed. My body although not noticeable was trembling with anticipation of what may follow. My penis was erect, stretching the fabric of my tight shorts; Darryl noticed my erection immediately then reached out squeezing it firmly. I whispered to Darryl my hard penis would burst unless I freed it from the confines of my shorts; my desire for Darryl to fondle me further was overwhelming. With some effort, Darryl eased my shorts over my hips pulling them down to my feet. I kicked them away as Darryl knelt in front of me, his moist mouth sliding backwards and forwards on my smooth shaft. This was the very first time someone had performed fellatio on me, including the few times I had experienced girls a little older than myself. I felt my body stiffen a number of times, when this occurred Darryl stopped momentarily squeezing my penis hard. Before he resuming each time, he sucked on his fingers spread the cheeks of my bottom and stimulated my anus with his wet fingers. Eventually his sucking became more intense, I felt myself begin to ejaculate, more than intense excitement. I called to him that I was about to cum and rather than pulling away he grabbed my bottom cheeks and held me tight. My unbelievable orgasm exploded into his mouth; simultaneously he penetrated my anus with a finger pushing it in and out. I had never experienced anything on this level before, we then fell on to the grass holding and kissing each other. Without taking into account what just happened between us, I kicked away my shorts and pulled my shirt over my torso. My erect penis was virtually pointing straight upwards also I could sense a never before experienced feeing from my erect nipples. Darryl was soon completely naked as well, and climbed on top of me allowing me to embrace him tenderly. I could still recall many years later hope bodies responded to each other. Hopefully this letter explains to you some of the pain and confusion I have been living with most of my life. A passionate relationship was formed on that afternoon with Darryl and lasted sporadically for another five years. As we grew older, I also enjoyed the company of numerous girlfriends mostly intimately, while Darryl became more feminine over that period. On occasions we would share time at my home whenever my parents and two sisters were absent. Darryl became an expert at applying make up and on occasions begged me to allow him to try on my sisters clothing, during this time we were found in a compromising position by my sister. Eventually we parted company with Darryl shedding a flood of tears. Darryl always believed that we would be lovers forever; social pressures at that time would have never allowed us to be open about our relationship, not that I could have seen my self acting out the role of someone’s gay lover, but always I have know I was at the very least bi-sexual. I do hope you understand the dilemma I have endured; so it seems forever. I believe that we can and will be each others confidents and lovers. Loving you always, David