30 Sep 2019
Us usual - from my personal fantasy hard drive
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8 minute read
I got a call from her. It had been weeks. I’d almost given up. The last time we shared time together, some shit had happened, which had estranged us. I felt bad about it. I had reached out. I got a few responses. Not bad. Not good. I knew that was her style. Billy Joel’s song – ‘She’s always a woman’ comes to mind. It doesn’t describe her perfectly; but it reflects how she makes me feel sometimes. Being with her is almost like an obsession. I missed her. I loved her. I was confused about the situation. I couldn’t help my feelings. Every neuron in my brain was telling me to stop. But I simply could not do this.
A cry for help. Her mother had died. What the fuck!!! How was it that I did not know about this?!? She was asking me for help. With the funeral. With the celebration. With the music. I agreed. I went. I was uncertain what to expect. Would she welcome me as if nothing had happened? That would be her style, yes. But that is not what happened. She welcomed me with a beautiful hug and an apology.
We got into the preparations. Her pace was fast and furious. So much to do. We did it. Photos; music; pictures; speeches; formalities. It went awesome. I liked the fact that she had asked me to help. I loved playing the piano, singing and entertaining again. It had been more than 3 months since I broke my hand (I’m a dumb cunt). I had to take a back seat and I knew this. I was cool with it. It allowed me to avoid the questions. Her speech was a stroke of genius. I was so proud of my friend at that moment. Given the shit she had been through previously; given the spotlight everyone in her life had her under; given her mum had just died and she was the one holding things together and organising everything. Simply amazing. At the end of the celebration, she was having a rose and lamenting with her family. I packed up and waited. I had fulfilled what I had promised. There was nothing keeping me there. Until I realised, she was going to leave with no-one.
This is where I need to explain my feelings. Why was I even here? Because of how I felt about her. It is what it is. These things don’t happen randomly. They evolve. There’s a back story; but that’s another. I couldn’t leave her. Her friends asked me. I told them I had her back. One of them went with us. We headed for a private café. We had some drinks and talked. The emotions started flowing. I get emotional too; I felt everything. Before long, it became clear I needed to take her home. I got a cab. She cried in wracking sobs all the way back. She had been holding back all day until that point in time. I carried her inside.
I took her to her bed and sorted her. “Babe. I need a juice, a menthol and a wine”. Oh good. My friend was back – well; a little back. We shared. This relaxed us. I held her in my arms while she cried some more. It is fucking horrible to lose your mum. I imagined how I would feel in her situation. I saw my mum’s face; I lost it. Now she was comforting me. Holy fucking shit – the lives of highly emotional creatures!!!!!
We cuddled. We slept. We woke. “Babe. Another juice. And some food”. I would normally say ‘Get it the fuck yourself’; but I was cutting her some slack – for now! I did that. We shared. We felt better. We got horny. It made sense. Intimacy was OK. I held her. Her body moved against mine. This is my friend. I shouldn’t be doing this. But my feelings were too strong. And hers. I knew she felt it too. ‘Touch me”. I did. “Get the lube”. I did. I poured it all over her pussy. She was naked from the waist down. I removed my clothes. I had decided to go with it. I started on her pussy. My girl is a size six. I am 6 foot 3 and built. “Do whatever you want”. I picked her up in my arms and laid her in the position I wanted. I could lift her without effort. I inserted two fingers and found her sponge. She was filling. I worked it and worked it. Her back started to arch. Her breath increased. My cock was steel hard. I usually need a girl to do something for me to get like this. Not my girl. Just being this intimate with her and the way her body responded to me got me so fucking hot! I worked her sponge; she was getting fuller. The pressure was building. Then I felt it. The flow of oily fluid. Going everywhere. “Aaahhhhhh….. honey….”.
I went down on her. I wanted to taste her fluids. She grabbed my hand and moved him underneath. “Touch my arse”. I did. I got more lube and started on her anus with one finger. Her sponge started filling again. I put two fingers into her arse and started fucking her there. Her fingers found her pussy and started competing with my tongue. So, fucking hot. More oily squirt. A break.
Another juice; more wine; sausage rolls and tomato sauce. “Need the loo”. I turned the light on. Oh. There was blood. She had her period. “Shit Honey. I’m sorry”. “No problem. I don’t mind. All natural body fluids babe.” She did the loo. Hopped back in and had another wine. “I want you to do me”. I understood. I got out the lube. My cock was fucking stone hard and leaking pre-cum. I got her on her side and positioned myself behind her. I guided my cock to her arse and entered. She started working her clit. I started fucking her. “Get my dildo”. I obeyed. She used it. I entered her arse again and started a constant rhythm while she worked her pussy and clit with the dildo. I could feel her sponge getting tighter through the wall of flesh between her anal passage and her vagina. This got me so hot. “I’m gonna come babe”. “Yes. Come in my arse Honey, please. Fuck me hard”. I stroked harder and faster until I felt that white hot feeling deep in my guts; rolling over and over. Then the explosion. She felt me release. This got her off. We both orgasmed and ejaculated together; then fell into each other’s arms; panting and laughing.
This exact scene continued, unabated until we both realised it was 5am. Dawn would greet us shortly. The bed and both of our bodies were covered in dry blood and sex juices. The sheets had ash stains on them. We had enjoyed ourselves unabandoned. We had been carnal together. There had been no restrictions; no boundaries; no inhibitions.
At 9.30am, we woke. Coffee. Orange juice. Smoke. Horny again. Fucked again. This time we did it vanilla, looking into each other’s eyes. We both knew it was probably going to be the last time. We had made the best of our situation. We had a shower together. We got dressed. We stripped the bed and drove to a laundry mat. Then I drank coffee while I watched her devour an entire meal at 11am. Back at her place, we cleaned the kitchen and did some of the floor. We both knew I had to leave. I knew I had to; for if I stayed too much longer, I would profess my inner, deepest feelings and put her in a difficult situation. I didn’t want to do this to her. The timing was all wrong for a start. By her body and her behaviour, I knew she felt similarly. I had to let it go for now. She walked me out. I left with a heavy heart.
Later that day, I wrote the first draft of this story and sent it to her. We chatted on the phone; but it was clear we were both too tired to converse in any depth. The next morning, she called me at around 10.30 “Hi Honey, I just slept 14 hours”. She sounded brilliant. We chatted. The good thing about her and I is there is never an elephant in the room. Anything, anything at all that is on the tongue gets spilled.
We shared enough for me to know that she felt the same way I did; but had the same fears and knew the timing was not right. This gave me so much relief. Just to know she felt this way was almost enough by itself to allow me to feel better. We agreed on so many things. It was the best conversation we had ever had; ever. We agreed to not label “us” in any way. Just let nature take its course. Maintain our current situation. Keep in touch as friends. Catch up when it happened. No expectations. Beautiful. Just perfect. I felt so much better after that chat. Then later that afternoon, I had been trying my best to work; but I just couldn’t get her out of my mind. I kept remembering how it felt to lay next to her; hold her; smell her; comfort her; love her. Then I got a smiley, kissy, lovey text emoji from her; almost as if she knew how I was feeling. Holy shit!