*** WARNING *** PROBABLY THE MOST HONEST PROFILE FOR A LONG TIME

This is not a joke. Sadly, it is 100% true. My name says it all - I am a DUD LAY.

Married male 55, wife has finally exhausted all her reserves of patience following a lifetime of disappointments caused by my all too regular premature ejaculations. Understandably she has called “last drinks in the bedroom at the OK corral” leaving me devastated and humiliated and her probably on the hunt for someone skilled to fill the loose end that she finds herself with now. I can’t blame her for that, she deserves a bloody good screw and it makes me cum just imagining how she’ll go off like a box of crackers. As much as I would love to watch this I know it just won’t happen – not even to give her the chance to utterly humiliate me which I would thoroughly deserve. Her continued presence in our house now is a constant reminder to me of my shortcomings in the bedroom.

I am not about to expect that anyone else would be willing to let me inflict my incompetence upon them instead. On the contrary, I am looking for a woman over 50 to meet up with occasionally at lunchtime for a coffee and a chat in the Bayswater / Boronia area with no strings attached.

If, and that is a very big IF, there was any suggestion of there being sufficient chemistry there for this to progress to a physical level it would be 100% focussed on YOU getting pleasure in whatever way you desired. While there would absolutely be no expectation of us having sex I would be more than willing to fondle and caress you, give or receive oral, explore your pussy with my long fingers or anything else to satisfy you at your complete discretion.