Hi everyone. I know I'll probably cop a bashing on this one but..... I really like this site and swinging in general and I made it very obvious to my wife when we first started going out that was the case. But she just lacks sexual drive and desire to go outside the box a little. Always encouraging and supportive and would never push her into anything she doesn't want to do. But I need to vent a little. I look at the other couples on here and think what a fantastic time they must have and the level of balance between trust and sex and friends looks so nice. My wife is just a jealous person by nature which doesn't fit in with swinging. I love her whole heartidly but I just wish I could have the sex life I desire so much.
Comments ???
hi skip , i think jelousey kills a relationship, i use to be jelouse as well once and so was my hubby ,
but when we decided to have an open relationship we had to start trusting each other , the jelousey finaly went ,
i can only say it has made us so much closer, and seeing others has put spice into our lives,
we are so much happier now .,, i hope you get good results soon
Hi Guys,
Its taken a very long time for my wife and I to be here. We have worked through many issues, being jealous is just one. But now with new trust and openess we are starting to have fun and are probably much closer and our private sex life has become incredible.
Mark
Quote by afflixion The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Very, very true. HOWEVER... sometimes there's no grass on your side at all - just bare dirt. sometimes its greener alright...which takes a hell of a lot more work to mow............
If you are computer savy, try listening to the Dan Savage podcast, Savage Love. It's a free weekly podcast and he deals a lot with your issue (one partner is not getting enough sex). My husband and I have listened to it for two+ years now and it has really brought us around to the fact that monogamy is not for many couples.
Also, you could get a copy of Opening Up : A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino. She goes into the different types of open relationships and how to deal with some of the feelings that may result (jealousy, envy, etc). Read it and then give it to your wife to read...
good luck!
-jennifer
In my experience jealousy arises from insecurity. The following questions are not aimed at the original poster in particular but anyone who is having issues of jealousy with a partner.
Do you do enough to make your partner feel secure in your relationship or do they fear you will find someone else and leave them?
When (if) you play with others .. or just socialise in general with others do you pay enough attention to your partner or do they feel forgotten while you flirt and pay attention to others?
Has your partner had negative experiences in the past? Has someone they loved left them because they fell in love with someone else? If this is the case you might have a lot more work to do to reassure them.
If your partner seems to have a low sex drive is it because they are over worked and plain exhausted or do they have low self esteem and poor body image? These can be fixed with a little thought.
For those with a reluctant spouse try paying them attention with no expectation of sex or other result at the end of it .. give them a lovely massage, run a bath for them, and provide strawberries/champagne/chocolate .. whatever their favorite indulgence is, and dont expect any sexual favor in return. Sometimes that is all women in particular need to start loosening up, to realise that their partner doesn't only see them as a sexual object. I know this is hard but patience is its own reward with these situations. Don't be over eager to get your needs met and your partner wont feel as though you are pushing them in to something they don't really want.
My husband and I have been married for 29 years, we have been in a partly open marriage for most of it, and completely open for the last 15 years. It wasn't done over night, it took patience and a willingness to talk things over .. and occasionally take a backwards step before we got it right. Now we are moving forward into swinging as partners. He is less sure than I am, but is willing to give it a try. If he doesn't like it then he will take a step back and I will continue to play with his full consent as he will know the environment I am playing in. Underpinning it all however is the firm knowledge in both of us that nothing will threaten our relationship .. it is rock solid. I think that feeling of security has to come first before you can begin to experiment.
Hope this has helped
JuleznRog aka laconian
I have only recently started actually getting on here on my own accord.
I have for the past 5 years gone from the little country girl that had never seen a porn to being my partners toy that he would try and pass off to all his mates or whomever he could get onhere. then in order for me to be comfortable enough to actually get off he would go and spend money on drugs to make me horny, ligal and otherwise......
I spent the last 3 years having him tell me that all the 3somes and swingers clubs were making our relationship stronger. Then a month ago, he goes from telling me how lucky he is to have me and that he loves me more then anything in the world. To sending me a text message 3 hours later telling me he has moved out and he has no feelings for me anymore...........yesterday i find out he has moved in with someother women..........
so all I can say is that you need to be sure no matter what that it is not gonna make you go else or want to go elsewhere without her, because if your not 100% sure. then you will distroy everything, your relationship and your wife....
all I want to know, is why and how if you love someone you could be so cold and so uncaringly selfish in such a short time without ever considering anyone else feeling but your own. and mate, he even walked away from the kids......
I too this day still go by the same profile name I am just single now and getting on here because I want to and when I want too....not because he wants me too like 75% of all the other times.
so be sure for all involved that it somethingyourrelationship is strong enough to handle. and if she says no or no more(as did) respect her wishes and be happy she atleast gave it ago.....xoxoxoxo
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