Just wondering if anyone else has this problem, of people here not replying to messages.....
While I understand that everyone has their own particual likes and dislikes and Im sure some get a
million messages, there is a thing called common courtesy. And honestly how long does it take to
say thanks, but no thanks, about 4 or 5 seconds I think.
I believe some forget there are actually decent people on the other side of those messages, not
everyone on this site behaves like a moron.
Maybe there should be a name and shame section in the forums... LOL...
Anyway enough said, I would be interested in hearing responses....
You are right Ageelong
The first common courtesy is to read a profile and to see if you fit that profile. Is it rude for us not to respond if, as you can see, we tell you we will not respond? You would be amazed how many people don't read. You may could be a great bloke that is being punished by the bad behaviour of other single men.
At first, that no-reply condition was not there. We replied to every message. Thanks but no thanks was responded to with from anything from begging to abuse. It wears thin after a while and you are forced to add a no-reply condition.
When it happens to me I just assume that they're not interested even though their profile states they're looking for a bi male like myself. And couples and single ladies do get inundated by messages by single guys wanting fun now and understandably don't have the time to reply let alone even read the message. The key is to make yourself stand out by going to meet & greets and chat rooms etc..
Also looking at your profile you say you are straight but are looking for gay and bi males as well as a couple with a bi male, perhaps these contradictions are confusing others and thus are not responding to you?
Quote by andyg Why msg in the first place if there not interested in single guys?
Well, theres a strange reply ??? why would I send messages to people who I know from their profile there not after single guys.... I have noticed some people select every option for contacts and then change it after you send tehm messages...
Quote by acermark When it happens to me I just assume that they're not interested even though their profile states they're looking for a bi male like myself. And couples and single ladies do get inundated by messages by single guys wanting fun now and understandably don't have the time to reply let alone even read the message. The key is to make yourself stand out by going to meet & greets and chat rooms etc.. Also looking at your profile you say you are straight but are looking for gay and bi males as well as a couple with a bi male, perhaps these contradictions are confusing others and thus are not responding to you?
Acermark.....Good pick up, that would be an error on my behalf... all fixed.
Agreelong, we agree that it's rude not to reply - as long as the message deserves a reply (ie. it's not incompatible with the recipient's profile). It's not just single guys that suffer this - we've sent many considered and carefully written messages to other members and if they're not interested we almost invariably do not get a reply.
Yeah yeah, people will come on and say "Oh but I get flooded by messages and can't possibly reply to them all". For most people that is total BS. It only takes a few seconds to reply with a "Thanks for the interest but you're not quite what we're looking for. Good luck with finding some other fun people to play with". If the other person has clearly made some effort with their opening message (rather than simply "when can I cum fuk u?") then it's the least you can do. Got 5 unwanted messages waiting for you? Type out the message to one and copy-and-paste it to the others. It's really not that difficult.
For some it is true that they get flooded by messages, but some of them could help that by considering the content of their own profile. If you have a photo of yourself getting gangbanged by half a dozen guys, then many viewers are going to think it's easy to get their end in and they'll send you a message. Don't want all those messages? Then don't put up that sort of photo and consider specifying in your profile what age, physique and personality you like your play partners to be. Contrary to popular belief many guys do read profiles.
Agreelong - as for what you can do to increase your response rate (not necessarily your success rate), maybe think about what people you are messaging. As above, if their profile sounds "easy", maybe they're getting a lot of attention and you'll be lost in the crowd. Pick out people that sound a little more discerning, and for whom you fall into their stated criteria, then write an interesting and catchy opening message. If you're not putting any effort in, why should they? And if you really, desperately want even just one person to reply, then send us a message. We will take the time to send you a polite "Thanks but no thanks".
Oh, two other points.
When we first joined and had to send "No thanks" messages to people, we found it surprisingly difficult. It's not always a comfortable thing to be telling someone they're "too fat" or "too ugly" or "too vulgar". Of course you don't say it like that (simply "not what we're looking for" is fine), but I'm sure you get the picture in regard to people not being interested but not knowing how to turn someone down nicely. The easy path is to not reply.
Also, sometimes when you do reply, the other person doesn't take "no" for an answer and keeps coming back with "Why not?" or "But I won't smoke when I come see you", or other reasons why your rejection of them is flawed. If someone has a couple of experiences like that, they may be inclined not to reply to anyone again.
I don't reply if I check out the senders profile and he does not meet my critera, which is really not that restrictive. But if he has no profile, or has just filled in the basics and has no photos or nothing in his 'about me' section then I figure he has something to hide, or just couldn't be bnothered. If he couldn't be bothered filling in his profile, then I couldn't be bothered sending back a message.
I also do not reply to "I want to fuck you" messages, text talk or templates. Try being original and witty.
And I also got tired of the whiny messages after I sent my thanks but no thanks. No means no, and I do not respond to threats and abuse after I have said no, so its easier to just not reply.
Ageelong, we would agree that to not offer some form of reply to messages is in many ways discourteous and we do try to reply to all messages and/or wanks. We don't always manage it as we get sidetracked or simply miss messages but we will try as for us we wish to treat the sender as we ourselves would like to be treated, after all as the saying goes 'courtesy is deserved, respect is earned'.
However, many here are also correct in that they would be approached by people who do not match that posters profile requirements and the receipt of a message would raise a question of how to react. Whilst no response is the path many will choose justifiably (after all, the sender has shown no courtesy sending where they are not required so are they deserving of courtesy) others will choose to respond which then brings with it further issues where a person will continue to message.
For us and as has been mentioned already, one of the hardest things we could do is write a message to say 'thanks but no thanks' as many people may take the response as an insult or affront, despite it being a personal choice.
Again, our philosophy is to always try to respond to a message and whilst we know we do not manage it on all occasions we do try to respond and have even responded to a message we once received on another site that was a guys phone number with 'lets fuck' after it (we kid you not).
An important part of messages is to put thought into the message, show or indicate that you have read the profile of the recipient and explain to that person or couple aspects that you like of their profile, or what you can offer that may be of interest to those people. After all, as brutal as it may sound this is a market and people need to sell themselves to those that they approach and that is certainly not an easy task for anybody, but yes, we agree one message deserves a reply.
Shell and Gaz
Why would i waste even 4 seconds of my life answering a message from some goose that cant even be bothered reading our profile ??? they look at pics and bang we get a message when they are nothing like what we are looking for .
We try to answer all messages sent to us, it only takes a few seconds. Often the reply is "sorry we don't play with anyone younger than our children or older than our parents"!!!
Quote by Firedragon2 We try to answer all messages sent to us, it only takes a few seconds. Often the reply is "sorry we don't play with anyone younger than our children or older than our parents"!!!
Quote by admin If the profile you messaged is a non paying member then they can't reply to your messages. That could be one reason.
They'll be able to reply from the start on next month though. Could we get an icon that denotes financial member, like how there is one that shows if the member is verified. I don't know maybe a dollar sign
Quote by admin If the profile you messaged is a non paying member then they can't reply to your messages. That could be one reason.
They'll be able to reply from the start on next month though. Hi All, Just thought that I would drop a quick note in here to let you know that at the moment I am not a paying member but was able to reply this morning to a message sent to me. Thanks Admin. Your changes have taken affect as promised. Regards, Mick.
Quote by melbnudistcpl Why would i waste even 4 seconds of my life answering a message from some goose that cant even be bothered reading our profile ??? they look at pics and bang we get a message when they are nothing like what we are looking for .
Obviously you didnt read my earlier post of "why would I bother to message people who I allready know arnt looking for somthing like me" You just proved your own point that people dont read or answer anything
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Thanks for letting folks know..