Ok guys ... thoughts on open marriages/relationships?
Do you tell you partner when you 'play'?
What are the rules/boundaries you have?
What do you do if your parnter breaks your 'play' rules?
Would love to hear what you all think
with us we have to let each other know what we have done. no phone numbers and my wife isn't a fan of pre arranging a play. she prefers go out and see how things go. Also we don't have a continuous sexual relationship with one person. We feel it is on the verge of having an affair and we feel that when it could go haywire.
I have to admit she hasn't play in over 2 years and she has sort of lost interest.. but myself on the other hand I have had a tatse and want more. plus it does make it a lot harder with small children.
as a single bloke ,,i love to play with ladies and couples ,,,who doesn't ,,,not worried if your married or not ,,but if your partner doesn't at least know your playin ,,,then i don't go there ,,,not worth the hassle for anyone ,,,
hmmmmmm very difficult waters to sail , we have seen so many couples and relationships go south involving this practice.
Truly the best relationships are shared lives with someone you love respect and like to be with, in our experience this is way swinging is safe fun and beneficial to and within a relationship.
Whilst I am sure some make it work we both believe it hides something missing in the relationship and inevitably will fail.
Swinging isnt the answer to a failing marriage or relationship and somehow random or casual sex involving one or the other isnt a recommended bonding activity in a marriage,
If you have a strong and mutual respect within your relationship you likely enjoy swinging and it has a positive influence on your life and relationship.
For us our primary relationship is with each other is the valued commodity for us above all else.
The term like minded really matters for us, we do this together so we dont need rules and would never have to deal with breaking them.
We nearly always play together and mostly in the same room. The exception would be when Mrs Fire plays with her boyfriend in Perth and when that happens (once or twice a year) she organises a playmate for me before she goes.
Most importantly we always debrief after a play date ie what were the best thing(s) that happened, things we would have changed etc
its pretty simple
a couple that plays together stays together
We will not meet half of a couple under any conditions , playing apart shows there is more than meets the eye and we wont be involved in it
Melbcpl01
Well thank you so much for the comments... it is really interesting to hear other's thoughts and how they live their lives in this rather alternative lifestyle...
weve also seen a few relationships head off into the wild blue yonder from here. on the most part its been that one couldnt handle the seperate playing nother was the bloke was organising too many meets for other men to degrade his wife/partener. 3 of them i speak to and they said he/she never said they didnt like doing what they were doind, one i know said she didnt care what hubby ( ex now) thought she wanted to play when ever she wanted. this destroyed the marriage.
id say for us we wont play alone, mostly because of
safety factors. well for mrs twos safety.
emotional problems from the playing becoming more than wanted.
the fact that we like to watch each other enjoying ourselves.
we have been to swing parties and there was nothing that took mrs twos fancy so niether of us played. to be truthfull nothing took my fancy either lol
for this life style id have to say communicate honestly and be open is the biggest 2 things whether you play as a couple like us or play alone.
Quote by jazz_10 Ok guys ... thoughts on open marriages/relationships? Do you tell you partner when you 'play'? What are the rules/boundaries you have? What do you do if your parnter breaks your 'play' rules? Would love to hear what you all think
Jazz, Without wanting to sound to 'up myself' (lord knows I need to help that opinion ) but the answers would likely depend on how one defines 'open relationship' as to some it would mean playing alone and/or separate whereas to others, swinging which involves others in an 'open relationship'. For Sheba and myself we will answer it based on a play separate or alone basis whether we be at parties or playing with some friends. Do you tell you partner when you 'play'? Absolutely we do whether we be at a party/function and play separate (of course, less need to tell as the other is around anyway), or when we play alone with a friend/s. For us it is about trust, comfort and of course the 'safety net' approach of having regular check-in times. But in short, yes we do. What are the rules/boundaries you have? Aside from our only real golden rule of check-in times, there are no real 'rules' as such. We encourage the other to enjoy themselves and have fun as, after all is that not why we do what we do? What do you do if your partner breaks your 'play' rules? Has only happened once and that was a check-in rule break ........... and that many years ago ............ no rules or courtesies broken since. We may well be different to some in our approach as for us the first aspect of why we play is fun, we must do it to have fun and whilst it is still fun we will keep playing. If the fun stops, we stop. We do not feel the need to have the other present when we play and at times we get great enjoyment from them being elsewhere, whether it be at the same party of at home/out while one is playing. For us, we know that we have a relationship that allows for us to not need to be with the other at all play times, but what works well for us may not work for others and so no judgement on our behalf. The only down side is that because of our approach we have been told by some that we intimidate them (singles and couples) as they cannot 'believe' that we can be so open and comfortable to not care or worry that the other is off enjoying themselves. Well it is either that or when we start to talk about the BDSM side and fun , either way there are many that do not come back so to speak :)
Sounds like we're on the same page as Shebagazz.
Could not agree more.
We've played together more recently but have played alone in the past, and making the most of solo opportunities is fine with us.
Knowing that when you are out meeting another, you don't have to rush back home, you can relax and enjoy the time.
We don't have a sign that says we are open, but by fuckery, we are very open, and by open I mean we let each other know.
I think the term "open relationship" stems from open communication.
Not hard, unless magee cuts my tongue out soon
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