Warming the Bed
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So give me the lay down on your pros and cons of being social with those you play with.
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Pros and Cons of being Social
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have made so many great friends over the years. If you can stay realistic and communicate honestly, there aren't usually many problems,
Orgasminator
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i totally agree with freo
we have great relationships with a few couples we play with. bbqs, days out , beach. the girls go shopping together
just so much more relaxed
Sexpert
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To widen your circle of great like-minded friends that are not...
1. people you went to school/uni/college with
2. people you see every day at work
3. parents of your children's friends
4. your next door neighbours
5. However unlikely, people you meet at church/chapel/synagogue/mosque/temple/coven (did i miss anyone)
just a place to meet people you would not otherwise meet
Orgasminator
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3. parents of your children's friends
ummmm we play with the sons friends parents lol
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I've stood and chatted nude with a lady at the nude area down the river one weekend, and then been served by her a few weeks later at a shop, was just a smile each with the usal nice weather/day, etc, and, Have had some fun with a few couples and seen them out and about whilst shopping etc, again, nothing awkward, just some people saying hi and a wave whilst passing, can't comment on meeting for just drinks and a chat as yet.
Sexpert
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Quote by mr_twonewbies
3. parents of your children's friends
ummmm we play with the sons friends parents lol
mr two - not that there is anything wrong with that but.... just how do you find out and how would you askalthough "things happen" at the most unexpected times and places :}
Orgasminator
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We've met some of the greatest people from adult sites. Granted, we haven't played with all of them but we adore the social side.
Have to say that being social and being sexual are different scenarios. In a social situation I'm not sitting there lusting after someone, but once it's play time it's game on!
Sexpert
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we found them on a site lol
greedy, i feel the same lol
Sexpert
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Likewise, we have "converted" normal friends into threesome friends, and THAT's great, because you already have a liking, or even a love for them, but then you extend it beyond that. It's almost like a relationship. Makes the friendship stronger.
Warming the Bed
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Hey we luv the social side of swinging ,we find its easy to share the sexy times with people we already know socially,than to have sexual times with a stranger/ people you hardly know .After all for us to share each other with others and be intimate with it's easy to have a some sort of relationship with the people so be it a social or more . just think you get to know each better inside and out ,likes dislike etc which I turn makes for a more sexciting time together
We have been even known to mix our social friends with swinging friends after all we are all adults and most can behave vanilla when needed lol not as if we have signs on our foreheads saying swingers ( lock up ya wife's or husbands ) lol
Social swinging sits well for us :-)
So many great friends we have met and continue to see socially from here .and if play time pops up at some of those social get togethers then that's just the added bonus :-)
Warming the Bed
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Quote by ajsydney
Likewise, we have "converted" normal friends into threesome friends, and THAT's great, because you already have a liking, or even a love for them, but then you extend it beyond that. It's almost like a relationship. Makes the friendship stronger.
I can't believe some one would be silly enough to say no to you, especially with a body like yours.
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^^ it's not always about looks
Sexpert
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Quote by infinite_sky
^^ it's not always about looks
or age.... we do well, very well
.
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We have two types of friends
Horizontal and Verticle
We have lost some normal ( Verticle) friends because of our lifestyle choice. So really they are not friends. But the funny thing is the guys cheat on their wives. Maybe they should have listened to us.
Now we prefer our great horizontal ( play) friends. No hang ups, no jealousy can talk without offending.
Sexpert
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I can vouch for the social and sexual side of this thread. Being able to communicate with someone prior to playing always adds a nice dimension to the sexual side.
Communication is paramount to social relationships and when translated to the sexual side empowers the payers so much more.
Quite often people feel they need a connection before they proceed to the next step and I can vouch that the largest sexual organ in the human body is the mind... ;-)
Regrettfully, society has placed a halo taboo on some matters sexual and that people should stay in monogamous relationships......monogamous is fine and works well but people were born free and sexual relationships can expand outside that without animosity and jealousy.
Many a memorable times were spent socialising, chatting and then proceeding to platonic places lol.
Communication is paramount to social relationships and when translated to the sexual side empowers the payers so much more.
Quite often people feel they need a connection before they proceed to the next step and I can vouch that the largest sexual organ in the human body is the mind... ;-)
Regrettfully, society has placed a halo taboo on some matters sexual and that people should stay in monogamous relationships......monogamous is fine and works well but people were born free and sexual relationships can expand outside that without animosity and jealousy.
Many a memorable times were spent socialising, chatting and then proceeding to platonic places lol.
Quote by my_hotwife
We have two types of friends
Horizontal and Verticle
We have lost some normal ( Verticle) friends because of our lifestyle choice. So really they are not friends. But the funny thing is the guys cheat on their wives. Maybe they should have listened to us.
Now we prefer our great horizontal ( play) friends. No hang ups, no jealousy can talk without offending.
Sexpert
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Quote by peterthell
. But the funny thing is the guys cheat on their wives. Maybe they should have listened to us.
Now we prefer our great horizontal ( play) friends. No hang ups, no jealousy can talk without offending.
we had it the other way, wives cheating on thier hubbies. either way its wrong and maybe it could be fixed by swinging.
love our swing friends, there is never jealousy. envy yes but not jealous.
our swing friends outnumber our non normal friends. well we see them as not normal. theyre so unhappy so much of the time.
Sexlightened
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G'day all
This thread is widening to cover both socialising & cheating ... so may I answer both??
To me -
Cheating - is cheating - is cheating
It is activities carried on without the knowledge or consent of one's primary partner, and it mostly is destructive to a relationship, even though it may create a new relationship.
Socialising is the extreme opposite to cheating -
Socialising for me opens up my relationship with other like-minded people, and gives me /us a new dimension for our lives. For me, it's no different from joining the tennis club (say) and socialising as well as playing tennis
I have made a collection of 'new friends' via this SH site - and I regard them as 'friends with fringe benefits'
Insofar as a sexual context is concerned, I as a bloke need something to appeal to me with the woman before I can become excited with her - so for me socialising a couple of times before 'playing' is essential. For AJ, she often needs more time to become happy with the fella who is going to 'play' with her
For me - the days of having a qwikkie and then departing are long gone. It's far better and more satisfying to spend time 'seducing' my female partner - even if it is over dinner with her hubby sitting alongside 'seducing' AJ
Phil & AJ
Sexpert
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Quote by Lumix_Lovers
Insofar as a sexual context is concerned, I as a bloke need something to appeal to me with the woman before I can become excited with her - so for me socialising a couple of times before 'playing' is essential. For AJ, she often needs more time to become happy with the fella who is going to 'play' with her
For me - the days of having a qwikkie and then departing are long gone. It's far better and more satisfying to spend time 'seducing' my female partner - even if it is over dinner with her hubby sitting alongside 'seducing' AJ
Phil & AJ
i totally agree , we must be getting fussy in our old age lol
Master of Sex
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being fussy and having standards is essential to preserve the primary relationship we never forget who we are here to enjoy and that involves others we can once accepting of a couple lower the guard and mutually enjoy them within the same structure we enjoy and play within , really our life together is more valuable than any swing event so it has to compliment not over take or compromise our relationship
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For us we can't have the sex without a social connection. Since we arrived in Melbourne we decided to try and organise small social gatherings where people from the swinging community could meet up over drinks for some social interaction. We haven't selected or responded to people's requests to join based on our own personal preferences, and as a result have ended up meeting and getting to know a wide variety of people who we may or may not move on to do other things with but who we hope to come to regard as friends.
Forum Virgin
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When we started swinging we deliberately tried to keep our lives seperate. But eventually the lines become blured, now we have many play friends (couples & girls) that have become good friends. We have many BBQ's at out place with both our "flavoured" & "vanilla" friends together, as in the end they are all now our friends. Nice people are nice people no matter what, having swinging in common is an excellent bonus.
We still have just as many "play only" friends, as they are fantastic in bed. We simply don't feel the urge to make the relationship anything more than that & usually the feeling is mutual. It's kept as something casual when the urge & time is there for everyone.
Warming the Bed
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we couldn't agree more with what everyone has said
from the social aspect of it we are also looking for what a lot of you already have
although we are new to this we are looking for the whole friends with benefits thing
being able to socialise and have drinks, dinners, bbqs ect, with our swinging friends
although we have only met a couple of people so far we are hoping that over time we will create some great friends though this lifestyle and to us this is important
