mostly single males when we do a search locally!...I'd suggest they get women first then bring em in here, more than likely they wouldn't be up for sharing 'em tho I reckon.
Where are the real swinging couples into hot kinky sex!
This site has become single males heaven, they are the majority and if you read the forums is is abundantly clear this site is run for the majority.
Which is clearly single males , the problem is they have to become more competitive and more aggressive, the numbers dictate that.
At some point the admin will have to assess what an acceptable ratio of males to couples, at the current rate this will be gay heaven as there simply isnt enough couples with females to support the ever increasing male ratio.
todays list of is it real who has really does it happen etc indicates males have the practicle concern they are singnificantly the majority and unlikely to find a participant couple.
As we have said 1 hundred times before we have no issue with the single guys being on here many of our friends like an extra guy and we wouldnt take that luxury from them.
What we are totally pissed off at, is guys who invite themselves into our sexual life when we clearly do not want any form extra guys. we arent alone in that, clearly as 90% of couple profiles state no single males. and that has to be edited to be more absolute as they dont get it.
Maybe before any one can private message or whisper someone, they should have read the profile and tick a box confirming they have read and they are within the indicated preferences, because without exception the biggest failure of the site is to enforce "no means no" and No contact from"xyz" just doesnt seem clear enough.
A ticked profile system would allow the mods something to ban offenders, If we are to believe there is any genuine effort to enforce "no means no" and because currently they read No single males and think thats a challenge to approach them, nearly every disrespectful guy who has contacted us even though we wish them luck these days because trying a different no thanks approach , states "was worth a shot and your not really upset are you" The alternative is fewer couples and that would benefit who???
I do notice the same topics coming up over and over and the mods delete or lock them claiming they have been done to death , well maybe they are genuine concerns and something that needs to be addressed.
If they continually appear as issues just maybe a number feel its a failing or problem that the site could address.
Whilst we realise we are the minority there would be no swingers without couples. It would be a singles dating site with sexual outcomes nothing more.
We have no issues with anyones sexuality, we just wonder if a swingers sight is an equitable playing field for all concerned.
As Melbournes couples know we visit, meet and enjoy some of the very best swinging has to offer a couple.
This site has become single males heaven, they are the majority and if you read the forums is is abundantly clear this site is run for the majority. The only sites where you do not find this are the ones that use fake profiles to lure people to join and pay memberships. This is a free site and accepts memberships from everyone as long as they abide by the terms of use of the site. What we are totally pissed off at, is guys who invite themselves into our sexual life when we clearly do not want any form extra guys. we arent alone in that, clearly as 90% of couple profiles state no single males. and that has to be edited to be more absolute as they dont get it. Please feel free to tick the box which stops male profiles from messaging you and please feel free to set your whispers to authorise. Maybe before any one can private message or whisper someone, they should have read the profile and tick a box confirming they have read and they are within the indicated preferences, because without exception the biggest failure of the site is to enforce "no means no" and No contact from"xyz" just doesnt seem clear enough. We cannot enforce no means no when it is not reported. Please also show me a website that makes you sign a disclaimer stating you have read a profile before you contact someone. I do notice the same topics coming up over and over and the mods delete or lock them claiming they have been done to death , well maybe they are genuine concerns and something that needs to be addressed. Abuse is never tolerated. If a subject that has been done to death starts to get abusive it will be locked. Even if it hasnt been done to death it will be locked. If they continually appear as issues just maybe a number feel its a failing or problem that the site could address. If the ones who continually brought up these issues used the tools provided for them then perhaps they would see that these issues have been addressed. Despite the name of the site, this site is for swingers, personals and dogging. The swingers used in the title, is a generic term for those who enjoy a more open minded lifestyle which can cover quite a few themes. Now for anyone who is having any issues or anyone who does not agree with how this site is run, please send in your questions, requests for help or suggestions to Admin via a support ticket. If in the end this site is NOT what you expected and you are NOT enjoying your time here, you can cancel your account.
These forums are always a great read and it is always good to read other members thoughts. We agree with OKandQ that this site is mostly singles and so many of these singles ( not all ) are aggressive and nasty if they get rejected. The answer from the site is always the same "please feel free to tick the box that stops single males from messaging you". The real problem with that is the fact that we all have single males that we do like and that we do want to contact us. A blanket ban on all single males just doesn't work, when it stops those that we do like from making contact.
OK's idea of a box being ticked to say someone has read a profile before sending a message is a good one. To send a message, it is usually done from that persons profile anyway. It can't be hard to put a small box that needs to be ticked saying that you have read that profile. If we are not looking for singles to play, then why should singles be so inconsiderate and contact us saying " I know you are not interested but I thought I would give it a shot anyway". We are saying NO and they are not accepting of that.. therefore they should be banned for not accepting that NO.
Sky, maybe it is not on dating sites, but just about every other thing that you fill out online says "do you accept" and you can only proceed after you have ticked the box. Surely, by ticking the box and then going against what they ticked is reason enough to not want them on the site. There are other sites, I believe, that you can block a person and that block stops them from everything. We would not only not be contacted by them, but we also would never see their part of conversations in chat and they cannot see our cams if they are on. It is a full block for that person.. A great idea we think.
We fully accept chats and forums being closed down when abuse is there, but like OK we have seen things closed with just the reason that it has been done to death. ( I know we don't always get the full story there Sammi lol).
I think it is quite clear that OKandQ do enjoy their time here on the site and they are regulars in chat and the forums and attend many meet n greets. All they are doing is pointing out one problem that the see.. and that same problem is one that the majority of us couples have on here. Having said that, we say again... not all single males are "pests", as some are among our best friends made on this site.
We dont see the single males or females being a problem with messaging we simply dont respond. The Chat rooms we dont do, so thats not a issue either for us. But a constructive way forward we think would improve things here, is a option: To only make your profile visible to others who match what you are looking for eg in our case "couples 42 yrs to 58 yrs old".Other sites make a token gesture with "make my profile invisible function" and "Block" We can see why other sites would resist this as sales would drop as there would not have as many nudie pictures to perve on! Lets face it they are bordering on porn sites rather than genuine swinger contact site. It could be seen as clear message......"Swingers Heaven is a genuine contact site" Sky: We have put our suggestion direct to the site admin as well.
If there is so much abuse happening from singles then why is it not reported?
As someone who deals with abuse reports quite often, we dont get even a quarter of them dealing with abuse that others say is so rampant.
We can't ban people for being abusive if we dont know they are abusive. we also have to go through an escalation process. Now as it is usually the same kind of people who are abusive, all it needs it 2 people to report them for abuse (or only one depending on the severity of the abuse sometimes) and they get a holiday from the site. If they keep it up, their holidays get longer until ultimately they are no longer allowed back.
I understand not wanting to put a blanket ban on all singles being able to contact you, but we can't enforce our rules when things aren't reported.
If you dont want to report things or block it from happening, then why complain about it? Personally, I find it offensive when members say that the site doesnt do anything to stop it. I've been dealng with abusive idiots for 2 years now, and the ones who mean to be abusive are the ones who do it more than once. Seriously love being able to ban them, it makes the internet a better place when we dont have people ruining everyones fun.
There is some worry that what someone sees as abuse, may not be considered as abuse by the site. One of our terms is that all members should be treated with respect. If you do not feel respected then your complaint will be valid no matter what.
hotqld45 - great idea, have you sent a suggestion to admin?
As a matter of interest I thought I'd do a little survey of my own.
Search within 10kms of our home postcode:
178 search results with no filters.
62% single males
5% single females
33% couples
I was actually surprised with the results! I thought there would be more couples and less single males.
My advice to single males - go to the other dating sites like RSVP, Oasis and Plentyoffish as the female ratio is about 20 girls to 1 male and I have lots of single male friends who are cutting your lunch and getting plenty of sex on there.
Happy swinging :swingingchair:
Quote by GoodandGreedy As a matter of interest I thought I'd do a little survey of my own. Search within 10kms of our home postcode: 178 search results with no filters. 62% single males 5% single females 33% couples I was actually surprised with the results! I thought there would be more couples and less single males. My advice to single males - go to the other dating sites like RSVP, Oasis and Plentyoffish as the female ratio is about 20 girls to 1 male and I have lots of single male friends who are cutting your lunch and getting plenty of sex on there. Happy swinging :swingingchair:
I'm also on Oasis. The same complaints between the sexes of lack of respect, bad manners, not reading profiles etc still exist there and it goes both ways. I'm going to go all out and say I think there are communication problems between the sexes lol.
As a couple we get lots of attention from single males and that is not surprising considering our profile indicates that we occasionally play with single males. If we get a message from a single male, most times we just delete the message unread. We never spend more than a minute or so each day doing this and when on chat and an unsolicited male whispers us we delete the message unread. Now, it may be that some of these males have sent us abusive messages, but given that they are deleted unread we never see them; so no problem. As far as the chat is concerned, should they complain about not being answered the mods (delightful folk that they are) invariably pick them up. Single males can only be abusive if you engage with them.
Fires
Quote by Firedragon2 As a couple we get lots of attention from single males and that is not surprising considering our profile indicates that we occasionally play with single males. If we get a message from a single male, most times we just delete the message unread. We never spend more than a minute or so each day doing this and when on chat and an unsolicited male whispers us we delete the message unread. Now, it may be that some of these males have sent us abusive messages, but given that they are deleted unread we never see them; so no problem. As far as the chat is concerned, should they complain about not being answered the mods (delightful folk that they are) invariably pick them up. Single males can only be abusive if you engage with them. Fires
Absolutely Agree, We have privacy settings to block all single male msgs, and whispers set to authorised only. We never have any issues of abusive behaviour because we do not engage it. In chat if there is an issue, the mods get it straight away, if they are not there, it is reported and thats it. Mrs Wanna xx
On the positive side ... !
We enjoy single males, and are still flattered by their attention even if some of the singles' are actually with partners who don't play, and don't know their husbands/boyfriends play.
My wife luvs playing with men, and I luv watching her play. I have no desire to play with other women and that might make our relationship a bit different o other couples on this site. We try not to set hard and fast rules as to what we want, and what we will or won't do as we are enjoying the exploration of swinging and want to remain open to what that offers.
The very small number of men who are pushy or otherwise unappealing are very easy to deal with, both in the chatroom and through our messages - a bit like real life really. We just wish we had the time and space to meet more 'single' men!
Seriously we have to ask, is it such an issue that this site is seen as dominated by single males?
I mean, show us a site that operates in a similar market that is not dominated by the single male as all sites we frequent would have similar ratios to this site.
For us, we happily admit that we will meet with single guys, single girls or couples and so do not restrict that fact from our profile and yes, we do get many messages from people, some within our preferences and some outside of those same preferences.
We try to reply to all (yes, we miss some but we do try) and would say that by simply replying in a non confrontational, yet courteous way we have yet to get any 'real' levels of what we would call abuse from a male. This does not mean that some may not get upset and we have had a few followup messages to explain the specific 'issue' from our side, but once we have done that we have had no further issues and in at least one case we still chat regularly to the guy, just will never play with him (to young for us)
If people do not want single males, all is well and good as that is their individual preferences and certainly it would be an ideal world if every person read a profile before sending, but the ideal and real worlds are different and it is the real world in which we live. For us, if people do not match our profile we let them know, that way at least they are not left wondering which may well result in a follow up message or attitude borne about by misconception as after all, courtesy is deserved no matter whom you may be.
Simply put, we feel the site does well to cater for the majority of it's members irrespective of whether that be singles, married or somewhere in between. Further, one must also remember that it is not only the domain of the single male to ignore profile preferences or be rude as this trait afflicts many people.
The vast majority of people on this site are courteous of others and let not a small minority affect perceptions.
Also, as to the idea of a 'checkbox' on a profile to indicate it has been read it simply would not work. The same people who are not reading your profile now will simply check the box and contact you anyway and whilst you may feel it gives you rights to 'report' them (and it would provide a level of evidence) it cannot be considered abuse and should (in our opinion) result in a slap on the wrist at worst.
If you do not want specific types to contact, then block them
Quote by shebagazz Seriously we have to ask, is it such an issue that this site is seen as dominated by single males? I mean, show us a site that operates in a similar market that is not dominated by the single male as all sites we frequent would have similar ratios to this site. For us, we happily admit that we will meet with single guys, single girls or couples and so do not restrict that fact from our profile and yes, we do get many messages from people, some within our preferences and some outside of those same preferences. We try to reply to all (yes, we miss some but we do try) and would say that by simply replying in a non confrontational, yet courteous way we have yet to get any 'real' levels of what we would call abuse from a male. This does not mean that some may not get upset and we have had a few followup messages to explain the specific 'issue' from our side, but once we have done that we have had no further issues and in at least one case we still chat regularly to the guy, just will never play with him (to young for us) If people do not want single males, all is well and good as that is their individual preferences and certainly it would be an ideal world if every person read a profile before sending, but the ideal and real worlds are different and it is the real world in which we live. For us, if people do not match our profile we let them know, that way at least they are not left wondering which may well result in a follow up message or attitude borne about by misconception as after all, courtesy is deserved no matter whom you may be. Simply put, we feel the site does well to cater for the majority of it's members irrespective of whether that be singles, married or somewhere in between. Further, one must also remember that it is not only the domain of the single male to ignore profile preferences or be rude as this trait afflicts many people. The vast majority of people on this site are courteous of others and let not a small minority affect perceptions. Also, as to the idea of a 'checkbox' on a profile to indicate it has been read it simply would not work. The same people who are not reading your profile now will simply check the box and contact you anyway and whilst you may feel it gives you rights to 'report' them (and it would provide a level of evidence) it cannot be considered abuse and should (in our opinion) result in a slap on the wrist at worst. If you do not want specific types to contact, then block them
Seriously we have to ask, is it such an issue that this site is seen as dominated by single males?
I mean, show us a site that operates in a similar market that is not dominated by the single male as all sites we frequent would have similar ratios to this site.
For us, we happily admit that we will meet with single guys, single girls or couples and so do not restrict that fact from our profile and yes, we do get many messages from people, some within our preferences and some outside of those same preferences.
We try to reply to all (yes, we miss some but we do try) and would say that by simply replying in a non confrontational, yet courteous way we have yet to get any 'real' levels of what we would call abuse from a male. This does not mean that some may not get upset and we have had a few followup messages to explain the specific 'issue' from our side, but once we have done that we have had no further issues and in at least one case we still chat regularly to the guy, just will never play with him (to young for us)
If people do not want single males, all is well and good as that is their individual preferences and certainly it would be an ideal world if every person read a profile before sending, but the ideal and real worlds are different and it is the real world in which we live. For us, if people do not match our profile we let them know, that way at least they are not left wondering which may well result in a follow up message or attitude borne about by misconception as after all, courtesy is deserved no matter whom you may be.
Simply put, we feel the site does well to cater for the majority of it's members irrespective of whether that be singles, married or somewhere in between. Further, one must also remember that it is not only the domain of the single male to ignore profile preferences or be rude as this trait afflicts many people.
The vast majority of people on this site are courteous of others and let not a small minority affect perceptions.
Also, as to the idea of a 'checkbox' on a profile to indicate it has been read it simply would not work. The same people who are not reading your profile now will simply check the box and contact you anyway and whilst you may feel it gives you rights to 'report' them (and it would provide a level of evidence) it cannot be considered abuse and should (in our opinion) result in a slap on the wrist at worst.
If you do not want specific types to contact, then block them
Absolutely Agree, We have privacy settings to block all single male msgs, and whispers set to authorised only. We never have any issues of abusive behaviour because we do not engage it. In chat if there is an issue, the mods get it straight away, if they are not there, it is reported and thats it. Mrs Wanna xx Ditto mrs Wanna. :kick:
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