Hi why do people on this site like to waste other peoples time with messages on wontin to meet up and when you reply to the message sayin you would like to meet they do not respond back. Why waste your time and ours if you are not for real.
who can figure other ppls motives we think they enjoy the chase an go home to fanisixe about wat mite have happened don't know why its not etiquette to out them an let real players enjoy xx
R/J
It isn't just this site, its the internet in general I think. People seem to forget that there are other people on the opposite side of the screen, and since there are no consequences to being rude - rude it is.
My theory is that most dating/swingers sites are rampant with marrieds who will not ever even 'think' of cheating on their spouse. So they make dates, chat up others, then sit back and feel smug that they never cheated, but they 'could' have hit that - in fact, they 'did' hit that, they made a date, someone was going to show up - see 'I am attractive to the opposite sex'
(BTW: read that with sarcasm firmly in the 'on' position), so close to what you think as well soilm
We have just had our last multi player event.
We are sorry to say that the misuse of swingersheaven by those who appear to never have the intention to actually 'swing' has brought us undone.
The cost, time and effort to invite people to play, only to find that after a lot of promises and definite intentions they back peddle and run away has made it too difficult for us to play on.
I believe out of 15 invited to play you get 1 that actually shows up at the door.
It is a terrible average to work with.
So thank you to those who do show up. I understand that unexpected circumstances can prevent some from coming but to those who lie, or regard these events as 'options only' on the day, you are just diluting the capacity and reputation of swingersheaven to actually help people hook-up.
Chris
Quote by Haidee (BTW: read that with sarcasm firmly in the 'on' position),
lol id never have guessed haidee. brilliant reply. weve had it happen. weve had to cancel a meet as well but we gave 2 days notice. had the excuse 2 weeks running of kids in hospital. the best was have to cancel because the mrs thinks your too hot. this was 20 minutes before they were supposed to turn up. the 2nd best was the mrs has her period so she said i could come by myself and she will play next time. never heard from them again
Quote by Haidee It isn't just this site, its the internet in general I think. People seem to forget that there are other people on the opposite side of the screen, and since there are no consequences to being rude - rude it is. My theory is that most dating/swingers sites are rampant with marrieds who will not ever even 'think' of cheating on their spouse. So they make dates, chat up others, then sit back and feel smug that they never cheated, but they 'could' have hit that - in fact, they 'did' hit that, they made a date, someone was going to show up - see 'I am attractive to the opposite sex' (BTW: read that with sarcasm firmly in the 'on' position), so close to what you think as well soilm
We would definitely have to say while you are right it is not peculiar to this site however this site would have to be the worse! Site owners also don't seem to be bothered about the over the top Mods.
T_Bi_Cpl, I haven't run into much of the over the top mods. I tend t hang out in the one room and rarely leave. Mods coming in are usually friendly and helpful
There's always going to be time wasters and people that um and ah and eventually go na.
One reason, i think, is a lack of or no pictures. So many females and couples on this site have either misleading pics or no pics at all. If i get a message from a female saying "medium build" but she has no pics, you know i um and ah too, its a punt and not sure if I could be stuffed, but at the same time don't wanna throw away an option. However if she had clear full body pics, well I make my mind up in a heartbeat and i don't um and ah.
For girls on the other hand they get flooded with options and throw a lot into the maybe basket, and might "waste your time" while she figures out if she could be bothered or not.
That I can all understand.... But, what I don't understand is people who INITIATE contact when I have clear pics, then proceed to waste your time.
But yea time wasters..... Welcome to the internet.
I as single guy offer a mobile number. ,don't expect theirs so they know they can call if their unsure I'm genuine ,I've had comments I sound to good to be true ,and I don't hear anything.....
For years I've come and gone from internet dating, if I'm single I'll generally be on at least one site, but yea ESPECIALLY ob sex sites offering up phone numbers on first message is a good way to operate. Getting girls is mostly about timing, and maybe one day a fortnight she'll come home from work and think "I want some, NOW". She doesn't wanna stuff around wirh online messages and searches she just wants some easy and decent. If you droped a phone number then you are easy, and if you are lucky you are decent.
I do this all the time and sometimes out of the blue often weeks after I send the message i get a text from.a girl saying "hey its xyz of swingers, what u up to" and boom I get laid that night.
Don't say "hey how r ya" na just give a brief outline of youself and what you looking for, plus phone number, and leave it at that.
Interesting perspective from the couples complaining about those abusing the common sensibilities and courtesy when dialog has begun...... But picture the other side for SOME of us......
An earlier post quoted 1 in 15 turn up......
He'll, if I've contacted, I'm good to go.
And I'll get maybe 1 in 50 couples actually want to play......
Then there's the time I drove 320 km, following instructions looking forward to meeting, 5 min before we were due to meet, zero communication after that......
Just as well I had a plan B and C....... Caught some great trout that drive.......
There's just as many couples as singles on here that like to 'play' people.
But I don't let it get me down. The best is when you do meet those nice honest people and make great connections.
So I don't give up on hope and always take the positive from life. Never get totally disappointed that way....
We've never had a no show yet.
But we rarely agree meet anyone on short notice, so maybe that gives them time to consider if they really do want to go ahead with it, and us the opportunity to weed out anyone who doesn't sound serious.
But yes, a few people who inexplicably stop contact.
On another site we got a wink from a trial member (they can't send messages). But we had paid for a feature that lets trial members send us messages, so we replied with a wink saying "Yes we're interested - message us for free". Never heard from them again. What, a message is too much effort? Then showing up would probably be too much effort too.
There is also a difference between 'dating/sex' sites and swingers sites, although that line is starting to blur. Most of the dating sites are thinly disguised hookup sites, there for only one reason, casual sex - as maverick said, leave a phone number, someone is horny, they will give you a call.
Swingers sites, on the other hand are usually couples looking for other couples, sometimes it is for a one off play, mostly they are looking for longer term playmates. Usually swingers are older coples (over 30ish) with children and other committments, so dropping your pants on no notice is sometimes not going to happen. Arrangements need to be made for babysitters/work/family commitments so plans are made in advance and generally it takes a bit longer to set these up.
From anecdotal evidence i have collected, in general couples are more likely to be looking for couples or girls and for newcomers, is also driven mainly by the male half of the couple, until the female half realises she is the draw, gets excited and takes over In my own case, I startedon here as a couple, with a partner that thought he could get more sex as a couple than he could as a single. He was right, but they weren't interested in him. He promptly pouted and left the site, and me, after our second meet where he was not, in his own mind, paid sufficient attention. We had a lot of no shows and a lot of tyre kickers. All part of the parcel.
But the internet, like real life is full of human beings who are fond of attention, and lke to know they are attractive. Many are married, who would never even 'think' of cheating on their partner, but like to know they are attractive to the opposite sex. They keep up correspondence and talk until there is a meet, then don't bother showing up. They have made their point, someone has agreed to meet with them, they are wanted. Feelings are fulfilled, they go off happy and content that they are validated, not botherint to think there is someone waiting for them to show up, cunfused and sometimes angry about being stood up.
Would be nice if more people were truthful, but human nature being what it is, I don't think that will happen any time soon
We have found on here anytime we have organised to meet single males never had a no show, meeting couples lol 50 percent of times wife/gf can't make it.
we have also had a guy bring a hooker from stkilda who was like she was on crack and hardly could speak she kept talking that she want more money from him.
We have had a guy bring girl that said she had headache couldn't have sex we said make it when your better he said he can do it now think she may have been a friend or something.
So we play now just go dogging play, at clubs, play pens or random stuff.
Email ping pong does happen from time to time if its not worth your time don't reply.
Yes we have found this as well! Someone puts on a add to say they want to meet this weekend. So we check them out and respond- they don't reply! So why put the add on in the first place?
We have had others who do respond but either cancel at the last minute or simply don't turn up!
Then there are the daters. You arrange to meet for coffee, drinks or dinner and you travel to meet, take the time to look good etc. They turn up having made no effort at all, they look nothing like the photos on their profile. You go through the "date" anyway and the conversation is flowing. Suddenly they make some excuse. Female has her periods or children have just turned up out of the blue. WTF?! It is so rude! These people are no oil paintings either.
And the one I hate most is the single male pretending to be a couple and leading you on! do they get their jollies from pretending to be something they are not? I fell sorry for them if they have such boring sex lives.
We are not on Swingers Heaven to make friends or see and collect nude porn photos. We are not here for a relationship or a date. We are a highly sexual couple whose sex life is amazing as it is. But we would like to share that with others . We want to give others pleasure and receive pleasure from others. We want to learn new things from others and perhaps others can learn something new from us.
So yes we are absolutely sick to death of tire kickers and frauds!!!!!!!
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In my own case, I startedon here as a couple, with a partner that thought he could get more sex as a couple than he could as a single. He was right, but they weren't interested in him. He promptly pouted and left the site, and me, after our second meet where he was not, in his own mind, paid sufficient attention. We had a lot of no shows and a lot of tyre kickers. All part of the parcel.
But the internet, like real life is full of human beings who are fond of attention, and lke to know they are attractive. Many are married, who would never even 'think' of cheating on their partner, but like to know they are attractive to the opposite sex. They keep up correspondence and talk until there is a meet, then don't bother showing up. They have made their point, someone has agreed to meet with them, they are wanted. Feelings are fulfilled, they go off happy and content that they are validated, not botherint to think there is someone waiting for them to show up, cunfused and sometimes angry about being stood up.
Would be nice if more people were truthful, but human nature being what it is, I don't think that will happen any time soon
