We're both really keen for our first time with another couple/group/gangbang... Hubby is very shy and nervous about his performance ability (pretty much he's scared he's not going to last very or won't be able to get hard).does anyone have any advice?
Nothing wrong with being nervous. It's a normal feeling to have. There's nothing wrong with taking some performance enhancers like viagra or cialis if it's going to give him more confidence, but I'm sure that once he gets over his initial nerves and gets caught up in the sexy atmosphere he'll do just fine. Enjoy and I hope it's a great sexperience for you both.
Further to Greedy's advice above, hubby needs to understand that not being constantly hard is absolutely normal. Many (most?) guys we've encountered need a bit of work to get them nice and hard and may need a bit more coaxing at various times through the session. This is especially true of the more well endowed gents. But that's perfectly ok. Getting someone hard can be part of the fun.
You might consider starting with a situation where he doesn't have to perform as much. A MFM threesome where the attention is on you (Mrs), or a club where you can both watch and play with each other but don't have to have sex with others. Once he gets some exposure to the scene his anxiety should ease and his comfort levels rise (along with certain other things).
Lastly, if he does have an embarrassing result under pressure sometime, try not to let him fret too much over it. He would be one amongst very, very many guys who have experienced that. Nobody else but him would be too fussed over it.
And to further add onto the great advice given by Tempted and Greedy, nervousness and issues can happen to anyone at anytime in the lifestyle. For guys, it may appear that there is that expectation to perform, and that gets in their head, which can put the pressure on them and be the cause of such worry.
It can help to just throw aside expectations of a night and what you may think has to happen, and instead just be happy to enjoy wherever the flow goes, and adapt to doing whatever things allow to happen. Successfully sticking a penis into a vagina does not have to be the be all and end all of sex, nor the only goal of every encounter.
Touching, kissing, licking, sucking and so much more can be just as wholly a pleasurable experience, and you should just enjoy the other person for themselves and your time shared with them. Thinking like that can take some of the pressure off and helps things just work but the great guys in lifestyle know that their hands, fingers, lips and mind can make others just as giddy with pleasure as their cocks can, especially if issues down there happen.
It is all about the mindset, and a person can be their own worst enemy in that regard. Just try to keep relaxed, and as you gain experience things will help.
hello
the first few times are always the worst. once you guys have gotten use to being naked around others and he hears your moans from the guy pleasuring you he will be fine.
go to swanboune or i would ahve said deltas but its gone . that way you will get use to others naked.
but it is a very unusual the first few times.
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