need advice - in love with a swinger

Forum Virgin

0 likes 11 Sep 2007

I'm not sure this is the place to do this but I don't know where else to go. I was wondering if anybody has advice for me. I'm in love with a girl who is a swinger. And the trouble is that I'm not. It's just not who I am. We've tried to have a relationship, but I can't stop feeling hurt when she sleeps with someone else. So I thought I'd ask, are there any swingers on here that have found a way to make it work with a partner who is not a swinger? I'm really out of ideas and some advice would be great.

piratewitch

Warming the Bed

0 likes 8 Feb 2011

Danger, danger Will Robinson!!!!! I hope someone else comes up with answers for you two - cos I certainly don't have one that you are going to like. I think if your sexual needs are so different it will be extremely difficult maintaining a healthy relationship that has any respect in it. Tyler...when two people have such different views on sexuality and what it means for them, things are tough. Obviously you are in love with this woman. Her swinging may not be at all related to 'love' as you see it....for many of us, sex is only an intimate act when we are with our primary partner. Sex with others is purely recreational. It means nothing...except physical gratification and mental titillation. Well, it means nothing to us - but to you, it is devastating. My advice would be to hang in there, see if you can live with it...and if not, then you really have no choice. Unless she is willing to give up the lifestyle. Talk to each other. Of course you get jealous - that is a natural emotion if your partner is doing something you are not part of....unless you have complete trust and communication. What has happened with Devil is the thing you have to look out for...he has fallen in love. A big no no. Swinging is supposed to be about sharing with your partner your fantasies...and living them...for the benefit of you both. A one sided swinging relationship is no relationship at all. Best of luck to you both.

Unknown User

0 likes 28 Feb 2011

Yes swinging in our view is only for couples that are very secure in there relationship. Both partners indeed need to be comfortable with the partner playing with others and furthermore, actually enjoy seeing same take place.