Forum Virgin
In my experience jealousy arises from insecurity. The following questions are not aimed at the original poster in particular but anyone who is having issues of jealousy with a partner.
Do you do enough to make your partner feel secure in your relationship or do they fear you will find someone else and leave them?
When (if) you play with others .. or just socialise in general with others do you pay enough attention to your partner or do they feel forgotten while you flirt and pay attention to others?
Has your partner had negative experiences in the past? Has someone they loved left them because they fell in love with someone else? If this is the case you might have a lot more work to do to reassure them.
If your partner seems to have a low sex drive is it because they are over worked and plain exhausted or do they have low self esteem and poor body image? These can be fixed with a little thought.
For those with a reluctant spouse try paying them attention with no expectation of sex or other result at the end of it .. give them a lovely massage, run a bath for them, and provide strawberries/champagne/chocolate .. whatever their favorite indulgence is, and dont expect any sexual favor in return. Sometimes that is all women in particular need to start loosening up, to realise that their partner doesn't only see them as a sexual object. I know this is hard but patience is its own reward with these situations. Don't be over eager to get your needs met and your partner wont feel as though you are pushing them in to something they don't really want.
My husband and I have been married for 29 years, we have been in a partly open marriage for most of it, and completely open for the last 15 years. It wasn't done over night, it took patience and a willingness to talk things over .. and occasionally take a backwards step before we got it right. Now we are moving forward into swinging as partners. He is less sure than I am, but is willing to give it a try. If he doesn't like it then he will take a step back and I will continue to play with his full consent as he will know the environment I am playing in. Underpinning it all however is the firm knowledge in both of us that nothing will threaten our relationship .. it is rock solid. I think that feeling of security has to come first before you can begin to experiment.
Hope this has helped
JuleznRog aka laconian
