To tell this story, I need to go back to the beginning. I was on a month-long assignment working in West Africa, staying with a French chain hotel. Jeanne was also staying in the same hotel and had arrived at much the same time. I was working in commercial finance, and Jeanne said she was a journalist for a Paris based magazine, writing an article on hair beading, braiding and plaiting in Tribal Africa. We were both busy, and had met in the lobby and at breakfast. We soon progressed to courteous greetings about weather and the like. I found Jeanne attractive and intelligent and we fell into a pattern of sharing a breakfast table, and a drink after work. On the first free Friday evening after work, I asked the fateful question, ‘What would you like to do tonight’? Jeanne said, ‘Tonight, I would like to have some drinks, share a good meal and a bottle of wine, relax over coffee and music, and then make love” So began the start of a casual affair that made me think deeply about sex, building a partnership, contributing to a relationship, and what I bought to the table in a short term affair. After agreeing to share the evening, we had freshened up from work with a shower and a change, and headed to an African interpretation of a ‘Cafe de Paris’. The cafe consisted a wood paneled bar with low backed stools, a dozen tables with chequered cloths, and a small dimly lit dance floor. We drank local bottled beer and ordered a light meal, and listened to the music – backing tapes and local cabaret singers covering old hits from the 70’s. We chatted about ourselves over dinner and asked general questions about jobs, the usual topics. Jeanne then moved the conversation to a higher plane and said. She said, “ After diner, I would like you to tell me four important influences in your life that have affected the way that you make love, so that I can speculate and prepare myself for when we fuck.” Jeanne continued “you don’t have to answer now, tell me later, over coffee or in bed” Wow, what a question. I had never been asked this before, and needed to think before I could give a meaningful answer. We continued our evening with the meal and wine, but my mind was trying to frame those five factors. What influenced how one made love? How could it be described, and in what way could this knowledge be bought to a partners benefit? Best to start from the beginning and let the influences of my life tell their story and then somehow relate these to making love. I pressed on with a narrative. Let’s say I am a product of Regional Australian 1950’s, where my parent’s generation handled sex very ineptly, and the societal treatment of sex differed greatly from the practiced reality. Sex was rarely discussed. When it was - it was usually in a context of adultery, religious outrage and sin, unwanted pregnancies, and abortion. Nothing joyful or fulfilling or even pleasurable being considered. I and my generation rebelled against all this and we looked to sexuality as an expression of pleasure, taking joy in surging desires, and building physical relationships and emotional bonds. We embraced the sexual revolution of the 1960’s with open arms, mounting passions and few inhibitions. In my youth I was very familiar with the ‘birds and bees’, and the mating antics of most wild and domestic creatures. I learned to ride early and was allocated a horse as my own. This was no free ticket as I had to tend to my horse, a semi-retired brood mare, and she expected to breed and produce healthy offspring. My riding and care was a key preparation for her pregnancy, and general fitness and well-being. I recall that I was surprised I was allowed to witness the planned mating of my mare. She was discharging copious fluid from her pussy, nervously fussing about and deemed to be in full-season. She was taken to the resident stallion a nearby farm – not a commercial stud, but a backyard breeder’s outfit. The resident stallion was well aware of the mating ritual and entered the round mating yard with a fully hard cock, and very intent of an early finish. My mare was not yet ready, resisted his advances as he sniffed her pussy and offered her a few nips, not real bites, on her back. He was sniffing hard when she propped on her forelegs and power-kicked him hard with her hind legs into his barrel chest. Wallop - the stallion let out a high pitched screech, and wheeled to advance toward the mare’s hindquarters, cock even harder and striking forward his outstretched hoof. He pressed on, leading with a raised front hoof like a boxers jab, and he edged into position to mount his mare. In an unexpected movement he leant over the mares back and seized her neck hard between his teeth. It was the mares turn to scream a fearful call which ended when the stallion’s upper and lower teeth clapped together, sharp as a rifle shot. The mare stood, muscles shaking and pulsing with hormones, presumably a mix of pain and pleasure. The stallion mounted the mare and somehow aligned his cock with her sodden vulva, and, confident of his entry angle, he drove up and forward hard from his strong muscular thighs. He buried his cock deeply in the mare, and with the thrust, he came with a great outflow of breath, collapsing to rest across the mares back. ‘I know just how you feel old mate, pick yourself up and have a drink’ I thought. This mating had a profound impact on me. Nature had provided an education opportunity and a lesson that our society had papered over. Sex was raw and natural, and not just the timid and vanilla flavour that our society seemed to endorse – you could explore boundaries within the tolerance of rules of safety. As a young adult, I suffered a very serious illness. Awaking from a coma and in a hospital ward, I was given little chance of survival and asked if I wished to say my farewells to special people. The realisation dawned on me that outside siblings, I had no deep personal relationships that mattered. Sex is part of a commitment to build a relationship – not just to take pleasure from another. Now where are my four factors? • A society that paid lip-service to a sexual behaviour model that didn’t work and wasn’t practiced - I was open to more; • A Parental generation that were inept role models in guiding sexual experience & development; I would have to learn for myself; • My exposure to the raw power of sex in nature: unbridled passion and desire must be measured to mutual fulfilment; • When all seems lost, deep relationships are what counts. Later that night after unfolding this tale of factors, I lay in bed with Jeanne, and she thanked me for being open and frank. And yes, she too understood about the 60’s, the sexual revolution, the disconnection with parent’s values. Please, in the coming weeks tell me more about your mare and the stallion, and their babies.